i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
