It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This is the high leading the old right now
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
