So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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