oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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