its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
