are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
