her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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