Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
