Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
