You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
