Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
