Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
