im six kinds of drunk right now
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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