i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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