I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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