chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
