well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
