dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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