So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
