I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
