After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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