What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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