if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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