the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
