So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize