Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
