How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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