i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
