I hate your face
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize