I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
