hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I need moral support for this bender
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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