just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
then he tried to convert me to islam
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
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