I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
