And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
