did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
