I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
