I think i sorta joined a cult last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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