I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize