I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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