don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
