He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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