He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
