i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
