please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My life is pants optional.
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