kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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