Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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