is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she woke up with a sticky ear
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
