we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
