I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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