Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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