i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
