But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
