it wasn't lemon gatorade
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
