is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
