I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
