phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
