Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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